29 Unethical Life Hacks For People Who Don't Play Fair
Nathan Johnson
Published
03/18/2024
in
ftw
If you're looking to improve your situation in life most people will tell you to work hard and be a good person and that through your hard work and determination, the things you want will simply come your way.
I'm here to tell you those people are lying. Sure, hard work and being easy to get along with are two qualities everyone should have, but the world doesn't always reward the good guys and girls.
Sometimes you need to get your hands dirty to get ahead. So if you have a malleable moral compass, these life hacks won't land you in prison, but they will put you on Santa's naughty list.
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1.
Have a large, “professional” looking camera. Get a bright vest that says “press” on it. Make an ID. Go to town. Almost free access anywhere. -
2.
When you call in sick to work, call lying down as it makes you sound more congested. -
3.
If you want to lie, make a part of the lie something shameful. Everybody will believe you. -
4.
If you rob a bank you have almost guaranteed shelter regardless of the outcome. -
5.
Wear black carpenter pants, black polo, multi tool, flash light and a clipboard. Walk with purpose. Get you backstage 90% of the time. -
6.
On a trip to Las Vegas, I decided to visit their adult pool area at the Delano. Upon paid entry, they provided me a bright neon wristband. I also happened to be attending a Red Hot Chili Peppers show the same night and still had my pool wristband on when I entered the venue. While trying to navigate to my seating area, I asked the usher for directions to get to my seat. Well, they didn't look too closely at the ticket location on my phone and only noticed my wristband. The next thing I knew, I was being directed into the VIP access area right up front. Apparently, the VIP wristband was the same color, so I was able to enjoy the show as a VIP. -
7.
If you’re planning on calling out sick, schedule an email about it at a weird time early in the morning. People don’t doubt it when they think you were up at 4:37 am vomiting. Then if you need to physically call, you can do that later and have written documentation that you were “up all night vomiting” or whatever. -
8.
If you shop around at garage sales or good will, some brands offer lifetime warranties. -
9.
Just before covid my son worked at a multi national that had posh reception areas with coffee machines, large tv’s running the companies products and advances all day and always smart receptionists. One day a van pulls up with three blokes in it, all in hi viz and clean smart workwear, they show their work order to the receptionist and get on with removing 4 x 70” tv screens and a projector all for upgrades and replacements. To this day, neither the blokes, van or tv’s have been seen again. Just walk out like you own it comes to mind. The receptionists were not sacked but from then on every one who came to that facility had to be checked properly. -
10.
If you run for Congress, you get government briefings, some of them confidential, then you can trade stocks on the info. -
11.
Educate children using dog training techniques. -
12.
Pay for one movie ticket, stay in cinema all day. Works almost always everywhere. -
13.
If you get in a one-car accident, or fall asleep whilst driving, etc., tell the responding police that you "swerved to avoid an animal.". -
14.
Using billions in tax payer federally funded research to create medications and then turn around and charge those same tax payers a 1000 fold increase in costs WHILE also getting tax cuts myself from the very middle man politicians who give me the public funds. Oh but wait - one important caveat, why do these politicians help me out so much? because of course I get ultra rich, but they want their cut, their political campaign donation of course, from the very pool of profits I made off their constituents tax payer money!, -
15.
Work correspondence hack: Anything that benefits you, put it in an email, letter, etc. so it can be memorialized when possible. Anything that is detrimental to you, make a call or discuss the issue face to face verbally. Don’t leave a paper trail. . -
16.
Re-gifting presents as 'timeless heirlooms'. -
17.
For ubereats, McDonalds, burger king, etc start like 20-30 accounts on their apps. Once they realize you have been inactive for a period of time they will almost always give you offers for free food, or like a burger for a dollar or whatever. Because i have so many accounts i can check through them and there is almost always ways for me to get a full meal for about 3-4 bucks at most. You can also use multiple accounts at the same time to make different orders and pick them up all at once if you really want a lot of basically free food, but that's a little more risky. Ubereats regularly sends me 25 dollars off orders of 25 or more for the first order on a new account if I don't order anything on that account for a bit. Now you cant use the same card you have used on other accounts so you have to buy a cheap prepaid card each time. If done right it ends up being like 20 dollars off any order of 25 because of the cost of purchasing the prepaid card. I do this regularly and order exactly 25 dollars of food which ends up being 5 dollars+fees+tip. Generally means i get to order 25 dollars of food from any restaurant for around 15 bucks all fees and tip included vs the 40+ it would be normally. Cheaper than going there or picking it up myself. 15 bucks for enough food to feed 3 people and have it delivered is pretty awesome. It takes a few steps but honestly not more than just starting a new email address and a quick stop on the way home for a cheap prepaid gift card. For the accounts you have already used your first order deal on they will still send 40% off 3 orders of 25 dollars or more almost consistently on accounts that haven't been used in a few weeks and i always have one on deck if the girlfriend and i want to order food on the weekend. -
18.
For entry level / lower level jobs, lie on your resume. Most places don’t have the time to check that you’re telling the truth. Put a friend’s phone number down as an “old boss”, or bump up your degree, whatever you need to do. Just make sure you actually have the skills you claim to have. -
19.
I worked at a grocery store and saw the same 3 people show up all the time and steal stuff. The manager said there aren't even recordings for the cameras and they don't care if people steal. I started treating myself to lunch after that. -
20.
Bluffing on your resume about trending skills & experience - although make sure you are well-versed in the skills & aware of the fake experience. -
21.
If you're looking for parking and you ended up somewhere where rows of cars got fined, just pull up, park your car, walk over to one of those cars, take the fine from their windscreen and put it on yours. Enjoy your day. . -
22.
I have lied thru my teeth every time I have been sat on a jury to get out of it. Works every time. -
23.
You can get into most places by wearing a maintenance uniform i.e cover alls a construction helmet+ vest and carrying a tool box or ladder. I would recommend a respirator and gloves. No more movie tickets needed. -
24.
If I break something that is still available for sale, I go buy a new one, then return the broken one with the new receipt a day later, saying it only lasted a day. I've used this for video game controllers, toasters, blenders, vacuums, and a lot of items. The store never questions it, and I get a new item for very little effort and no additional cost. -
25.
Petty judgmental attitude towards others to make you forget your low self esteem . Unethical but way too common. -
26.
Flights around 9/11 are cheaper -
27.
In the self-checkout aisle, you call the shots. Organic pears become regular pears. Organic apples become regular pears. Organic meat becomes regular pears; if you tear off the bar code. The scanner is just a mindless machine, take control of your own destiny. -
28.
Road signs are free you can just take em! -
29.
Girl Scout cookies are able to be resold easily. Girl Scouts are terrible at spotting counterfeit currency.
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