26 Obvious Truths People Learned Too Late in Life
Nathan Johnson
Published
02/10/2024
in
Funny
We all learn and grow at our pace, though some of us, learn much, much slower than they'd like to admit. We all have our own version of "I was today years old when I realized..." Some of us are just braver than others and willing to admit what our mental deficiencies are.
So in honor of feeling better about ourselves, here are 26 people who learned simple truth a bit too late in life, but hey, at least in the end they did get things right.
For me, I was older than I'd like to admit when I realized that pickles are "pickled cucumbers" but I sure wasn't in my 20's.
So if you also thought those two people on the crosswalk sign were women carrying their purses, then you're in good company here.
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1.
A pickle is a cucumber that's been pickled. -
2.
This past weekend, that the girl that invited me to an after party at her place and then asked for me to crash in her bed was not simply just being nice, I am f*****g stupid. -
3.
I am 19 and I have had ADHD and a sleeping disorder my whole life. I decided to go to the doctor and figure out wtf was wrong with me after I turned 18. Turned out I wasn’t stupid just undiagnosed going without meds. So now just about every adult looks at me like a lazy bum that fell asleep in every class and couldn’t pay attention or understand assignments. When I got on meds (senior year) I was #16 of my class in the top 20%. -
4.
I was at least 50 when I learned that the little piggy who went to market wasn’t shopping. -
5.
When I was a kid I thought it was ultra violent light instead of ultraviolet light. As in, that sun can really f**k up your skin if you don’t wear sunscreen. Bahahaha! So violent. -
6.
I'm not "quirky", I have ADHD. I'm in my 50s. -
7.
My sister learned recently that when you're at the grocery store and opening the egg carton that you're checking for cracked eggs and not just making sure that they are in fact eggs in the carton. -
8.
How the American bail system works. I thought it was a sum of money you paid to avoid jail. I was surprised when I realized you get the money BACK if you show up for your trial. -
9.
I was like 25 when I found out the jugs of washer fluid outside the gas station aren’t free. I was walking out of the gas station with a buddy one day, grabbed a jug of washer fluid, and he asked me “did you just steal that?” And I was like “No, dude, it’s free”. It’s not, I stole washer fluid for nearly ten years of driving and no one ever said anything to me about it. -
10.
That the drummer for Nirvana really was Dave Grohl, and not just a guy that looks really similar. -
11.
In high school science class we were watching a video and it was then that I realized Reindeer are, in fact, real creatures and not just mythical beings for the purpose of pulling Santa’s sled. -
12.
Water towers are for water pressure, not just a town putting its name on a tank and saying "Hey look how much dang water WE have." -
13.
I feel so dumb for this but I just learned that ‘Rainbow Baby’ is a mother’s next baby after having a miscarriage. I just assumed it was a term of endearment for a queer baby. I know. I know. -
14.
Not me, but my 21yo cousin just realized he is mildly allergic to peanut butter, and has been his whole life. Up until now, he had assumed EVERYONE'S throat closed up a little while eating a pb&j sandwich, but they just fought through it. -
15.
Learned I was allergic to latex from talking to my friend. She told me that since I’m allergic to some citrus I may be allergic to latex and asked me if condoms bothered me. I responded and said yes but they bother everyone who uses them. That’s how I learned that burning and itching and a road rash are not normal after coitus with a condom. (I’m 26). -
16.
My car key remote isn’t broken, the battery died after nearly 10 years. -
17.
That sign you see near schools with the two people crossing holding books? I was stuck in traffic a few weeks ago and suddenly realized it wasn't two women with purses. -
18.
That the best time to start saving for my future really was all those years ago. -
19.
I learned where "Pulling out all the stops" came from a couple of years ago (watching a documentary on Interstellar's music). It's from playing organs...air is blown thru the organ's pipes to play notes - and you have "stops" in there if you don't want a particular pipe to play. So when you pull out all the stops, you get all the pipes playing... -
20.
I can't eat any type of nut. It messes with my stomach lining. I genuinely thought nuts just made everyone sick after eating them. Like salsa. Edit: I've discovered something about salsa today. -
21.
That cows have to get pregnant before they can make milk. -
22.
I grew up in Poland. When a person was arrested on a crime that was publicized, the media will only list their first name and the first initial of last name, to protect their identity before conviction, e.g. Peter G. My friend thought that all criminals had one letter last names and he was surprised the police wouldn’t just go all Minority Report on them and arrest all people with one letter last names. -
23.
I'm Norwegian, and was at least thirty before I realized that the tomatoes crossing the road schoolyard joke (two tomatoes cross the road, one gets run over, the other says "Come on, catch up") has, in what I assume is the original English, a punchline. Well, for a schoolyard joke, anyway. Norwegian kids tell the same joke, but there's no catch up/ketchup pun in Norwegian, so they just tell a joke where the squashed tomato is now ketchup. At some point a kid who knew enough English to have heard the joke but not enough for the pun told it to younger kids, who assumed it was funny because an older kid was telling it, and it has been repeated between children for generations. -
24.
I didn't know there are two little bumps on the F and J keys so your hands know where to center while typing. I only learned this when my kids wanted to try typing and it's the first lesson! -
25.
My mom was doing her best. -
26.
I used to think that clapper thing in movies was to get the actors' attention. Not for editing. -
27.
That Loch - as in Loch Ness - is the Gaelic word for lake. -
28.
When I was 15 I realized rice isn’t pasta chopped in small pieces. -
29.
I should have been twisting the bottom of my deodorant to push the plastic cover out instead of using my teeth.
- REPLAY GALLERY
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- 26 Obvious Truths People Learned Too Late in Life
A pickle is a cucumber that's been pickled.
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