17 Surprising Things People Saw But Weren't Supposed To
Nathan Johnson
Published
11/09/2023
in
Funny
As human beings, we can get up to some pretty wacky nonsense. Anybody with the audacity to be born anytime in the last hundred-ish years is propelled into a glittering supermarket world full of technology and capability. And they say that idle hands are the devil's playthings, so it should come as little surprise that, with the many of the urgencies of prehistoric survival out of the way, we lure ourselves into trouble all the time -- be it through sheer curiosity, temptation or simple dumbass-ery.
Down below are a few dozen stories from people detailing the strangest things that they were caught doing by other people, and boy does it get weird fast.
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1.
As human beings, we can get up to some pretty wacky nonsense. Anybody with the audacity to be born anytime in the last hundred-ish years is propelled into a glittering supermarket world full of technology and capability. And they say that idle hands are the devil's playthings, so it should come as little surprise that, with the many of the urgencies of prehistoric survival out of the way, we lure ourselves into trouble all the time -- be it through sheer curiosity, temptation or simple cluelessness.
Down below are a few dozen stories from people detailing the strangest things that they were caught doing by other people, and boy does it get weird fast. -
2.
When I bought my first pair of night vision goggles, I had them delivered to the TV station I worked at (not trusting my neighbors to leave my [stuff] alone). So, I took a break and tried them out in the only truly dark room I could find. The mens room. A coworker came in, flicked on the lights, and was startled to find me in the middle of the room, blinded by the sudden flash of normal light, brushing my teeth in the pitch dark with night vision goggles. I had to go talk to HR about it. He was freaked out. -
3.
I picked up a pizza and was super excited to eat it. I put it in the passenger seat of my car and said something along the lines of, 'I'm gonna take you home and [mess] you up!' I then realized that my window was open, and so was the window of the car next to me. The driver had watched and heard me talk dirty to a pizza. -
4.
I was in standstill traffic (ie car had been turned off, people where loitering outside of their cars) and I had a baby squirrel that I was hand rearing in my car. I fed it some puppy milk formula from a bottle, looked up and realised I had an audience of about twenty people gawking at me -
5.
One time, I was popping my friend’s back by picking him up from behind and bouncing him repeatedly. A teacher walked in the room and we both froze. -
6.
When I was 14, I wanted to try to drink like a dog. I put a bowl on the floor and filled it with Fanta. My dad walked into my room where I was kneeling on the floor with my tongue in the bowl. He has never mentioned it since. -
7.
My friend and I went to the movies and thought the place was empty, so we started running around and flailing our arms. Turns out, there was a man sitting in the far back corner the whole time just watching us. -
8.
I was called in to assist my wife with putting together a friend's baby shower when her helper bailed at the last minute. My job was to prep the "dirty diaper game" which, if you've not heard of it, is played like this: an assortment of name brand candy bars and chocolates are unwrapped and then mushed into a diaper so as to resemble a baby's dirty diaper. The game participants then assess the contents of each "dirty" diaper and have a guess at what candy bar might be lurking within. Whoever has the most correct answers wins. Because I was called in at the last minute, I had to complete the task while at work... So there I was, in my office, fifteen or so diapers laying open on my desk, sleeves rolled up, hurriedly rolling what appeared to be a gooey, nutty turd in my hands...when my boss walks in. We make eye contact. He glances at my work, looks at me as though I am dangerously unstable, then slowly steps back out of the office without saying a word. We've never spoken of it. -
9.
Me, newlywed to my then-husband. Had to leave our apartment and move in with his somewhat disabled mother. Two weeks in, he and I are having sexy times in our bedroom. Specifically, hes going downtown and eating at the Y. MIL knocks and immediately opens the door, saying "dinners on the table!". Awkward pause. Everyone freezes. His face is buried in my crotch. She stands shock still, then huffs, and says "Well, I see you've already eaten," slams the door and goes away. We giggle, recoup, and go to eat. Most awkward meal of my life. -
10.
I once ran up the stairs on all fours. I hadn't realized that my best friend had already come over. -
11.
As a toddler, my dog bit my diaper so, in retaliation, I bit my dog in the butt, and my mother caught me. -
12.
I once had a coworker who worked at a customer site and had a crush on one of the women who worked there, too. One day, the woman came back from lunch and saw him pick up the cushion from her chair and sniff it. He was asked to leave. -
13.
My father once saw me put my foot up on a chair and smack my own [butt]. My leg had fallen asleep. -
14.
My ex-girlfriend once caught me playing her cat like a banjo. I had the cat's front paws in my hand, and I strummed his tummy. The cat was purring so loud that it made her come in to see what was going on. -
15.
A UPS delivery guy once caught my grandma biting her toenails. She was in the sunroom with the screen door open, and the guy walked up to the door and witnessed that. -
16.
I was like 13 or 14 in my room alone, my window wide opened, when I started to wonder if I ever got kissed what the other person would be seeing from their perspective, so I went up to my closet, which had those floor length mirrors and I started kissing the mirror, opening my eyes every once in a while to see if I looked at all attractive doing this, one of those times I opened my eyes I saw my brother outside my wide open window through the mirror looking at me with such a confused look on his face, I screamed and fell to the floor and hid in my room for a while. -
17.
One of my old roommates walked in on me singing naked into a hairbrush once. -
18.
I can’t remember why, but I was in the shower and started loudly reciting the trailer for Gremlins 2. I stepped out of the bathroom and my mom was there pissing herself with laughter. -
19.
I was once a server, and we have ranch dressing in bags, which were so satisfying to squish. I started doing it the way cats do it with their paws against something. I looked to my left and saw my manager staring at me. -
20.
I was 14 getting it on with my hand and surround sound headphones...my dad walks in on me half asleep and mumbles, “what are you doin boy?” And shuts the door, but then COMES BACK IN TO VERIFY WHAT HE’S WITNESSED and has the audacity to say “you playin’ with yer meat?” -
21.
In third grade, I went to the bathroom and, thinking I was alone, put my hands against the wall, leaned forward, and let out a long gigantic fart. I turned around and saw that some other kids had come in as I had released that massive fart. -
22.
Arguing with myself (well, not myself - the actual person just wasn't there, so I was standing in) in the mirror. With animated facial expressions and gestures. Lips moving, but with no sound. I now reserve these hypothetical arguments for the shower. When I am home alone. -
23.
It was 3am and 15 year old me was taking a [poop] and got a blood nose. Now for context, I get real bad nose bleeds and usually just keep my head up and it goes away. Well I was bored. So I thought, “what if I just keep my head down and let it drip?” I know... very stupid. Blood was all over the floor. I had every intent to just clean it up with tissues and flush it, no evidence of my little experiment. What I didnt know was that my mum was actually awake and was waiting for me to finish in the toilet for her turn. I didnt lock the door because it was 3am and I didnt think I needed to. Well... she opens the door... “SemenDemon16 why are you taking so l-“ She sees the blood, starts freaking tf out. Thinks I’m either dead or dying. I start yelling trying to explain myself. Mum starts crying thinking shes gonna lose her son. My sister walks out her room from the crying and the yelling. Sees the blood. Freaks tf out as well. After a bit of panic I eventually explained my stupid experiment. I cleaned it up and we all went to bed. But I dont think anybody slept after that traumatic experience. -
24.
One time my girlfriend and I had just left the house. She then remembered she needed something and went back in. Now, our house (Golders Green, London), was semi-detached with the neighbours house. The neighbours motorbike was kind of in our shared front yard. Since I was waiting for my girlfriend, I decided to sit on the motorbike. I heard the front door of the house close behind me, so, trying to be funny for my girlfriend, I leaned over the tank of the motorbike and started pretending to rev the throttle and making Vrrooom, Vroom motorbike noises. Like, really getting into it. I didn't hear any laughing, so I turned around and it was actually my neighbour standing there with this wtf look on his face. -
25.
Walking across the road to the dumpster with a bag of trash. One arm pulled into my hoodie. Flapping it like a wing, and slowly moving forward while going in circles. Saying to myself "Flying in circles, flying in circles." Realizing that I was not circling in the right direction for the 'wing' I had and reversing to circle oppositewise. Saying "Flying in circles the wrong way." Come back inside and find that my whole family had been watching me. -
26.
I once jokingly made an Instagram story of me pretending to shoot oranges out of my bum. My girl walked in on me in the bedroom with my drawers on throwing oranges so it looked like a POV of them popping out my butt. -
27.
I was playing VR Chat with a skeleton skin on and I kept doing stupid dances that may or may not have involved a jerkoff motion. I heard my wife's voice from outside the headset go "what the [hell]?!?" -
28.
Oh man. So I must have been about 12. I was in the car with my mom - to set the scene it was a three row soccer mom van and I was in the second row behind the passenger seat with my mom driving. Well since I was 12 I got my random hormone boner, strange and awkward enough right? Well I decide that I would pretend I was driving and that my boner was the stick shift... mom caught me. -
29.
I was a kid and creeped out by cousin's creepy doll, one morning me and the doll were alone in her room and I grabbed the doll and started to shake it and while I was yelling at it that I knew it could talk, my cousin walked in and was like what are you doing?? And I brought the doll close to me and caressed it and said I was just kidding. She kept the doll away from me after that -
30.
Was at the driveway at Wendy's and had exact change as I was switching the money one hand to another the quarter slipped in between my legs and I went to grab it but it slipped down further and the guy comes to the window as I have one hand full with cash and the other hand in between my legs trying to grab the quarter. He looked and me and said "I'm not even going to ask" and I just said "the quarter fell between my legs I have exact change" I got it and handed it to him pulled up to the next window to get my food and it set it what he thought he saw me doing. So embarrassing. -
31.
When I was around 10 years old I was getting curious about sex so I decided to look it up in the dictionary. Wouldn’t you know it my ultra conservative mother walks in the room so I try to play it off like I was looking up the Heida Native American tribe. She called me out for being in the S’s but I doubled down and pretended i was possibly dyslexic. What a tangled web I wove.
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