Ten Iconic Couples That Give Us Swinger Vibes
PocketEpiphany
Published
08/10/2021
in
Funny
Video games have plenty of couples. After all, the classic game formula involves a heroic dude saving a damsel in distress.
However, certain gaming couples are a little wilder than others. And here are the ones that most definitely gave us swinger vibes!
However, certain gaming couples are a little wilder than others. And here are the ones that most definitely gave us swinger vibes!
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1.
Mario and Peach
When you think about video game couples, Mario and Peach are probably the first ones that come to mind. It’s easy to imagine Mario finally finding the right castle, hooking up with the princess, and living happily ever after.
But you eventually have to wonder about all of those times that Bowser “kidnaps” Peach without hurting her or killing anyone. It’s pretty obvious that Mario and Peach have an open relationship that lets her get some private time with Bowser. And it makes things even hotter for them when Mario shows up to “rescue” Peach from her weirdo Bowser bondage situations. -
2.
Link and Zelda
Link and Zelda are another iconic gaming couple. And you might think these two are pretty committed to monogamy. But look a little closer and you’ll see the truth.
In Ocarina of Time, we see that Link likes to play the field. Saria is like a hometown girlfriend, and women keep flirting with him, including everyone from Malon to Princess Ruto. Hell, Myamoto even confirmed Navi the Fairy is into Link, and he has older woman Nabooru promising to do “amazing” things for him if he helps her.
Long story short? It certainly looks like Link is into swinging. Zelda doesn’t have that many suitors but she does spend her time dressed like she’s on her way to a cosplay sex party, so we assume she is down to party as well. -
3.
Snake and Meryl
In the original Metal Gear Solid, Snake and Meryl linking up is your “happy” ending. So long as you can survive the torture sequence earlier in the game without giving in, Snake and Meryl get to ride into the sunset together.
But that doesn’t mean these guys aren’t into swinging. Snake alone is a real whore, putting the moves on Mei Ling and Naomi before obsessing over Meryl because he enjoyed the sight of her ass. And much later in the franchise, we find out that Meryl ends up marrying Johnny Sasaki, aka the dude with tummy troubles who she knocks out so she can steal his uniform.
That’s right: Meryl has seemingly been thinking about Johnny’s naked body for years and ends up falling in love with him. Between this and Snake’s man-whore ways, we can only assume they had some wild sex parties while living in Alaska. -
4.
Shepard and Kelly Chambers
In the Mass Effect games, who you romance is a fairly major decision. It can influence the conversations you have with that character and even cause a ripple effect on the story for later games.
There is one seeming exception to this rule: Kelly Chambers in Mass Effect 2. She is the yeomen (basically Shepard’s secretary), and you can hit on her regardless of sex and regardless of any romances, you have established in the previous game. And if you’re wooing any of your squad in Mass Effect 2, you can still put the moves on Kelly without messing up your shot with others.
In other words, both Shepard and Kelly are down with swinging. And Kelly herself is pretty kinky: after you effectively beat the game, you can meet her up in your cabin, where she puts on a stripper outfit and does erotic dances for you. -
5.
Geralt and Yennefer
Of all the couples on this list, Geralt and Yennefer may be the weirdest. That’s because they may not be actively swinging, but their lives and lifestyles put out some serious swinging vibes.
That’s because each character is incredibly long-lived. They have dealt with magical forces and amnesia keeping them apart and have had other relationships when they weren’t actively together. Especially Geralt, who players can take through a number of weird romance options through the series.
Throw in the fact that Yennefer longs to restore her fertility and Geralt can never give her a biological baby. If she does restore that fertility, Yennefer will have to find another dude to toss her "coin" to! -
6.
Tidus and Yuna
As far as Final Fantasy female characters go, Yuna seems pretty tame. She is basically a good girl priest’s child who has devoted herself to saving the world. She doesn’t dress revealingly like Tifa in FF7 or even give off the bad girl vibes of her friend Lulu.
Why do we think Tidus and Yuna have mad swinger vibes? If you go back and play FFX, it’s clear that when Tidus rolls up, he interrupts a nice little polycule Yuna has going on. Characters like Wakka and Lulu are more than guardians for Yuna’s pilgrimage: they are providing some comfort on those cold nights, and they very reluctantly let Tidus in on the whole thing.
Still, hung up thinking about Yuna banging cat man Kimahri? Don’t kink shame, bro! -
7.
Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man
Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man already have a complex relationship. Like, why does she go by “Ms.” but still take the Pac-Man name? Are we meant to believe they are actually brother and sister?
Aside from that Game of Thrones-style weirdness, we see in Ghostly Adventures that at least one Ghost, Pinky, has a thing for Pac-Man. And we know that both Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man are each devoted to swallowing balls until they die, so these guys are definitely swinging. -
8.
Luigi and Daisy
With most swinging couples, it comes down to one partner convincing the other to try it out. And that is certainly what happened with Luigi and Daisy.
Gamers with long memories will remember that Daisy was randomly Mario’s love interest on the original Game Boy games. Later, after serving as his caddy, Daisy seemingly developed feelings for Luigi.
Nonetheless, she shows up in pretty much every competitive game, seemingly hoping to impress Mario and, with the help of Luigi, become the meat in a real Italian sandwich. As for Luigi, he’s not happy with this. Why do you think he’s always got that death stare going on while they race? -
9.
Sonic and Elise
To this day, the relationship between Sonic and Elise looks and feels very unnatural. This union between humans and hedgehogs seems like the result of a furry finding a magic lamp and making one very specific wish.
But Sonic comes with some very specific baggage. Across different games, shows, and comics, we have also seen him in love with Amy Rose and Sally Acorn. If Elise wants to hang with Sonic, then she needs to put up with him bringing some other animals to the bedroom.
At least there will be others to keep her entertained. After all, there are times and places where being “the fastest thing alive” may not be a good thing! -
10.
Billy Lee, Jimmy Lee, and Marion
The protagonists of Double Dragon are something of a curiosity on our list. That is because these guys seem like they are a ‘throuple.”
The original Double Dragon game makes it clear that Billy Lee and his brother Jimmy Lee are both going out with Marian. Mercifully, the game doesn’t tell us much about their sex lives, but it seems these three are really fine banging each other as part of a trio.
That does come to an end, though, if you beat the game with two players. At this point, you must fight to see who gets to be with Marion. Oh, well. I guess those ménage à trois sessions couldn’t last forever!
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