Christmastime: A season for enjoying hot cocoa, gift giving, mistletoe kisses, and for several fine folks on gay Twitter, flexing their bottoming prowess by shoving an advent candle straight up their asses.


On Thursday, @majormitchmajor headed to Twitter to not only flex their (very overpriced) seasonal Ester & Erik candle but to also pose a festive challenge for their butt-play-positive pals.  


“What a beautiful advent candle,” they captioned a snap of the holiday trinket. “What number you reaching?”



While a few folks took the question (a little too) earnestly, offering realistic answers for just how much candle they could take to the ass — “a sensible 3 or 4 if i'm feeling extra puta,” wrote @DumbLitRick — others opted for a different approach, tackling the question with loads of post-douche hubris.


“The white on your shirt,” wrote @CAdreamboy, while @touchmelovely avowed to get the candle “past ur wrist and all the way down to ur ankles.”


But regardless of whether you could only reach number 1 or engulf @majormitchmajor’s entire body in your apparently cavernous rectum, one thing is certain — to paraphrase @HungryHolesHoe, the only number that matters here is 911, because the base of that candle is most definitely not flared.